Still More Learning About Stupid People

Operation Unaware

I’m not sure if the Operation Aware program still exists, or if it ever existed outside of this area, so I’ll just explain it. In elementary school we had a guy who came in once a week to educate us about the dangers of drugs. I don’t think he was a cop, a la Sargent Stadanko, but more of a counselor.

Here’s how it would work: the Operation Aware Guy would kind of tag-off with our sixth-grade teacher. She would leave the room and he would take over the class. Sometimes he’d talk to us about drugs, but other times, he’d actually bring samples of various drugs in so that we could see what they looked like. He’d tell us what they were, what other names we might hear them called by, and what they did. Most of all, however, he’d talk about why each one was dangerous.

We even got to see actual cadaver organs of people who had died from various drugs. We saw black smokers’ lungs, and the shriveled brain of a speed-freak. One of the more terrifying things I remember was when he had some kids stretch out a sheet of plastic while he poured various inhalants onto it. They barely slowed down while melting the plastic on the way to the floor.

This went on for months. And oddly, the class always behaved when he was there. It wasn’t like when a sub took over. Most of the time he was there, the majority of the class just sat silently.

One day, however, when the teacher mentioned Operation Aware on a day the guy wasn’t going to come, one of my classmates raised their hand (I don’t remember if it was a boy or a girl), unable to hold it in any longer. They burst forth a whole litany of complaints about Operation Aware Guy. And once this person started, a shocking number of my classmates agreed and chimed in.

The charges against Operation Aware Guy were as follows:

• He talks about drugs all the time. It’s like he’s obsessed with them.
• He actually has drugs that he brings with him. Why does he have drugs? The only reason is that he takes them himself.
• He knows everything there is to know about drugs. Probably because he uses them all.
• He tells us all about drugs, and probably wants to sell them to us.

I remember making eye contact with a few of my friends in the class, who were as freaked out as I was, wondering WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK IS GOING ON HERE? The teacher eventually calmed down the mob and started asking questions of the kids in the class who weren’t a part of it. Consensus among us was:

• He is doing his job.
• He is teaching us about how drugs are dangerous.
• It’s actually really interesting.

I just remember being amazed at how these kids — 12-year-olds — could sit there for months and not understand even the most basic idea of what was being taught. These weren’t unintelligent kids. But somehow they had some sort of mental block. They couldn’t connect point A to point B, even when the connection was clearly stated to them over and over and over. It was as if their prejudices prevented them from seeing what was obviously an educational experience, and forced them to recast anyone connected with drugs — even a teacher — into a predatory role.

Even as ridiculous as the accusations were, the teacher could not discount the word of so many students. The next time Operation Aware Guy paid us a visit, she and the principal sat in the back of the class and observed. The hour went as it usually did. I don’t remember exactly, but we must have had a talk afterward where the teacher set everyone straight.

The Operation Aware program continued unobserved after that, and finished its run.

A lot of kids remained unconvinced that the school hadn’t hired a drug pusher to preach to them for an hour every week.